Other than “peanut butter products are illegal”, these are about the five scariest words I can think of at the moment. Well, my nightmare became a reality when I receive a letter from the Frederick County Clerk of Court explaining there had been a mistake.
It explains: “Maryland law requires that the person who performs a marriage ceremony in this state must return a certificate of the marriage to this office within five (5) days from the date of the ceremony.” It goes on to say, “Your license has expired and we have not received a certificate indicating that you were married.”
All these questions start rushing through my head: Are we no longer married? What happens if something happens to Jillian? What about our wedding? Do we have to do it all over again? God forbid we have to go through that process again! But then maybe we could stop my aunt from having the DJ play the Electric Slide this time around…
But seriously, it was a little jarring, especially since we have been apart for a while and are going to be apart for even longer. While one part of me simply thought that it was a mistake, another part of me was sad thinking we weren’t completely married, and that freaked me out.
But the letter said that the person who married us was supposed to return a green piece of paper to the court 5 days after the ceremony, at the latest. This piece of paper could be anywhere, especially since we had just moved all our stuff and any sort of document that wasn’t in our important paper container (or IPC) could be in any one of 2 million boxes and bags randomly dispersed between 3 houses in Virginia and Connecticut. But what I just wrote was just an attempt to build up suspense, because the green paper was in our IPC in the envelope that held our marriage license (now expired).
Long story short, I called the Frederick Clerk of Court first thing this morning and Jillian and I are, in fact, still married. I just have to get that paper to them as soon as possible. I think it goes without saying, though, that my new girlfriend is going to be pissed. Just kidding.
UPDATE: So after talking it out with Jillian, I think in the eyes of the State of Maryland we are not technically married because they have no proof that the wedding ever occurred. They know that we applied to GET married, but they don’t know if the wedding actually happened, therefor if we went to the State of Maryland and asked if we are married they would say no. So, we are still married, but if we were to get audited by the IRS for declaring that we are married it would be a bear of a problem because there is no proof.